


That Really Talented Asshole

by Snk



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Tattoos, Anal Sex, Entreprenuer!Erwin, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, So much suicide, Sugar Daddy Erwin Smith, Suicide, Tattoo Artist Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), What Have I Done, and death, ass worship, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:12:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3413636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snk/pseuds/Snk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern reincarnation AU where Levi is a struggling tattoo artist and Erwin is a successful Entrepreneur.</p><p>-</p><p>There was also this one man in particular that kept showing up in his dreams, Levi fondly refers to him as the Golden God, or Commander Eyebrows. He is yet to hear the man's first name, he is only ever called by his military title, but he has fallen in love with this man, his superior... in his dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reprieve

After humanity had won Levi ended up traveling outside the walls alone, until the loneliness and grief become too much. He missed him, he missed him _so damn much_.

The first cliff he encountered in his life, it was huge, taller than the colossal titan. He looked toward the sky, the sun was beaming down on him in golden rays _just like his hair_ , the sky was a rich clear blue _just like his eyes_.

He stood on the very edge of the cliff, turned his back, crossed his arms over his chest, shut his eyes… “I’ll see you again in hell, you old bastard…” He deeply inhaled the thin air and slowly let himself fall backwards to plummet into the depths of the cliffs gorge, his tears chasing him in streams from above, then everything went black.

Levi jolted out of bed with a sharp shout, his chest was heaving and a thin layer of cold sweat coated his body. He looked at the clock, it was 3am on a Friday morning, "fucksake" he sighed as he rolled over, shivering, and tried to fall back to sleep.

Levi always had these odd dreams about flying around in a weird contraption ever since he was 7 years old, but this past month the dreams have started to become progressively more realistic, and have started outlining a story about a different lifetime, a life he has created in his own mind. A life that he refers to as a living hell, full of gore and screams, and most notably, extreme heartache.

He dreamed about being the Captain of a Military regiment in a world at war with monsters called Titans.

This was his first dream about suicide, and it felt so real, he could feel the harsh wind wrapping around his numb body, the slight sway he felt from vertigo, the swelling lump in his throat, and he could most certainly feel the last piece of his heart shatter as his body broke on the hard rocks below. Everything was so vivid, so _real._

His dreams would not line-up, night after night was another period in time from this nightmare life. Last night he had dreamed about being a small child, barely a toddler, witnessing the prostitute that was his mother pass away from disease. A few nights before that he remembers dreaming about being a teenager and running from what seemed to be police, he was running away from them with the very same man that had shot his mother, he remembers screaming the name "KENNY!" as he was scrambling to keep up his pace.

There was also this one man in particular that kept showing up in his dreams, Levi fondly refers to him as the Golden God, or Commander Eyebrows. He is yet to hear the man's first name, he is only ever called by his military title, but he has fallen in love with this man, his superior... in his dreams. This man seemed to be the only reprieve Levi had in this crazy life. Levi knew that the events in his latest dream were due to that man, but Levi didn't know exactly why. He hasn't yet dreamed of anything bad happening between that Golden God and himself, maybe he will find out soon.

-

This clock hits 7am, Levi's alarm starts blaring out some god-awful tween pop-song from the radio station he had his alarm tuned to. He already knows that today is going to be a shit day. He slams the button on his alarm clock with much more force than necessary and roughly rubs the sleep away from his eyes.

He slowly makes his way into the bathroom after yet another night full of nightmares and broken sleep. He takes a good look at his wretched appearance in his spotless bathroom mirror, he notices the dark bags under his eyes are slowly growing day by day. He's doesn't feel so young anymore, even though he is only 24 years old, he is constantly struggling to pay rent while also being able to afford food, not to mention he barely gets more than 5 hours of sleep every night due to his constant nightmares. He looks like shit, and feels like shit. He ends up forcing himself into a cold shower in a vain attempt to rid himself of his lethargy. 

When he gets out, he looks slightly better, but still feels terrible. He gets out his oils and starts massaging his earlobes and puts his tunnels back in his ears, he stretched them out to an inch when he was younger, he has never regretted it since. He grabs his tattoo cream and starts to gently massage it in to his newest addition, he tattooed it on himself about 1 week ago now, it is the face of the man from his dreams on his upper right thigh.

He is almost completely covered in tattoos, some amazing, and some shitty apprentice jobs he got as favors for a few lucky people. His favorite tattoos include the realistic owl spreading its wings over his throat and neck, his full gamer back piece that included the likes of Mario, Zelda, the Elder Scrolls and a few other things entwined throughout, then there was his newest tattoo that he instantly favored above all else.

Levi is a skilled color portrait tattooist, he started a tattooing apprenticeship when he was 17 years old, but got caught up in a drug bust at 19 when the studio he was working at had been caught distributing marijuana and laundering the money through the studios accounts. Even though he was highly skilled, he found it hard to find a studio that would accept him, and couldn't open up his own studio because no one would lend money to a guy who got taught by criminals and worked at a cover business. He struggled to survive for the majority of that year until he ended up getting a position at a shitty little studio in Bedford, that was the only place he found that didn't care about his past, it wasn't the best place, but it was a job and it helped to pay the bills, so he sucked up his pride and went along. He has been working at that studio for about 4 years now, and has managed to change his reputation from 'criminal scum' to 'that really talented asshole', he was cool with that.

He opened his closet and picked out a pair of black skinny jeans, a studded belt, a Nirvana tank top and a black leather jacket. After he got dressed he pulled on his doc martens, slipped in his earphones and started pumping some Metallica as he made his way out of his shitty little apartment that was located above a salon just a few blocks away from the studio he works at.

As he was walking down the street, he ducked in to a little bakery for his usual takeaway tea and croissant.

"Good morning Levi!" The young girl at the counter would holler at him every morning without fail.

"Yeah, _good_ morning, you can just get me my usual" Levi said apathetically.

"Always a pleasure in the mornings, aren't you?" She said as she handed over his order that she had apparently already put together minutes before he walked in, Levi was fairly predictable with his diet habits. "Don't stab too many people today!" She would always say with a giggle as he made his way out, she thought she was pretty funny.

A couple minutes later he made his way into the studio. It was fairly dingy and was covered in tacky flash art that must have been put up back in the 90s as they were all worn and yellowing with age. There were 3 cramped cubicles in the studio lining the left wall, with a small counter at the front that was always occupied by the sour-faced and bitchy receptionist, needless to say that Levi liked that sour-faced bitchy receptionist, he felt like she was his female counterpart.

"Oi, we're going for some beers after work with the guys, and you're coming. Ok? Cool." she stated bluntly at Levi.

"What if I have plans?" Levi said, clearly annoyed with her demanding imposition.

"Cancel them. We're getting fucking wasted my dear friend, I know you're usually a dick, but lately you've been a mega-dick, so I've figured out a way to stop you from being a mega-dick... Let's go get drunk and find a real dick for you to fuck" she said with a devious grin.

"Fuck you, but I'll fucking go, only because you will be paying for my drinks, not because I want a fuck, not like I'd find a fuck around here, where are we even going?"

"I never said I'd pay-"

"Sarah, you _will_ pay for my drinks, or I'm not fucking going" Levi hissed.

"Fine, asshole, I'll pay for your short-ass to get wasted. We are going to some bar just out of town, a bit nicer than around here, and Ben was voted deso. Anyway, you have a booking in 10 minutes for 2 hours, then not another appointment until 2pm for 3 and a half hours, now go to work you miserable bastard" she said bluntly.

Levi flipped her off then went off to set up his booth for his customer. Only 2 customers today, Levi let out a long sigh at the thought, it was going to be a long, boring day.

-

5.30 couldn't come fast enough, Levi was cleaning up his booth after his last customer when Sarah, Ben and Jake showed up at the entrance of his booth.

"Hey man, you ready to head?" Ben asked, Ben and Jake were his two fellow tattooists, both were over 30 and sporting bald heads, beards, muscles and were completely covered in tattoos from head to toe. They were alright guys, but Levi didn't seem to have much in common with them other than work.

"Yeah, just give me a minute and I'll meet you at the car" he said while distracted by his habitual cleaning duties.

He made his way out to the car no more than 3 minutes later after locking everything up in the shop.

"WHOOOOO! LET'S GET FUCKED UP!" Sarah shouted with surprising enthusiasm for someone like herself.

"Hmmmm" Levi hummed halfheartedly in response. He kept to himself the whole 30 minute car ride to their location, occasionally drifting his attention in and out of the mindless chatter inside the car.

"We're here, now get out and get fucked up!" Sarah said in a demanding tone.

Levi and his coworkers slipped in to the bar, Levi wasn't really paying attention to where the car was going, so he wasn't sure where he was, but it was sure as hell nicer than the bars around his place, but just casual enough for him not to feel too out of place.

"I'll have a jack and coke" he said to Sarah nonchalantly.

"Fine, but you're coming with me to the bar" she grabbed his arm and dragged him to the bar.

While Sarah was ordering their drinks, he had glanced around the establishment, there was a fairly good mix of people, and the area was pretty packed out, and there was a trashy rock band playing on a small stage off to the side.

Then he saw it, this guy with his back to him who had blindingly golden blonde hair, walking toward the bathroom. _That looks like... no._

"I'll be right back" he informed Sarah, and was off the the bathroom before she could object.

He swiftly made his way through the crowd and swung open the bathroom door, the guy was at the urinal, then he finished and turned around, cerulean eyes meeting steely greys just a moment later. 

_Holy fucking shit..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edit: Updated Kuchel's death to match canon


	2. F is for Fuck

Levi stood there staring wide-eyed at this man, this man who looked exactly like this Commander Eyebrows guy from his dreams.

"Uh… I…" Levi seemed to lose his ability to coherently articulate himself, the blonde slightly raised an eyebrow at him, a mix of amusement and slight confusion crossed his striking features at Levi’s inability to talk.

"I… _Fuck_!-” Levi berates himself for acting like such an idiot while quickly ducking back out of the bathroom and hurriedly stumbling his way through the crowd of inebriated New Yorkers, his heart was beating faster than the baseline playing in the on stage, he was sucking in air but he felt like he was suffocating. _Fuck fuck fuck._

He made his way out to the smoking area as fast as he could without running, he found a free table nestled in the corner of the smoking area. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and sparked one up with a deep inhale.

"Levi! You little fuckhead! Thanks for leaving me at the bar to carry all… You look like you just saw a goddamn ghost, what the fuck man?" Her boiling anger was abruptly broken when a rare look of concern was shown in her expression.

"Nothing. I’m fine." He said as he took the two alcoholic beverages being handed to him, he was internally convincing himself that he must just be seeing things, that the lack of sleep is just messing with his head. "Two at once? You _really_ do want me to get trashed” Levi mused.

"That, and I’m too lazy to be running back and forth from the bar all night. Not even a thank you? Surly asshole."

"Tch, cheers bitch" he raised his glasses, tapping them with Sarah’s, he sculled one, quickly followed by the other. He received a scowl in return.

"Mooch, you’re going up to the bar this time" Sarah sculled both her drinks and handed Levi a 50 dollar note "I’ll have 2 raspberry vodkas, and my fucking change."

"I _really_ don’t feel like leaving this spot right now…” Levi said with a hint of self-consciousness, something severely uncharacteristic for someone who supposedly doesn’t give a fuck about much.

"Ok, seriously man, what the fuck-" Sarah stopped in her tracks when she noticed all the color instantly fade from Levi’s face "What?" She followed Levi’s wide-eyed stare behind her to the handsome blonde that was casually approaching them, eying Levi.

"Ohhhhhh" she winked at Levi "I didn’t know you were into tall blonde guys, how about _I_ go get us those drinks then” she suggestively stated with yet another, highly obvious wink.

 _He is fucking real, holy fuck. It’s not my imagination. Holy shit._ “No- wait!” But Sarah ignored him as she darted off into the crowd.

Levi sat there staring at this guy as he was approaching, every single detail of his face, even the way he held himself, was completely identical to the man in his dreams. Levi swears on his life that he has never actually met this man before. I’m going fucking insane. His heartbeat started to skyrocket again just after he managed to calm it.

Then there he was, just a moment later he came to a stop at the head of the small table, standing right in front of him, with that familiar unreadable expression.

"Good evening, mind if I join you?"

 _Oh fuck, he even talks the same._ “Oh, yeah, whatever” Levi gestured toward the empty chairs while fighting with every fiber of his being to act calm and not run away from this situation, he didn’t want this man to think he is completely insane after the incident in the bathroom.

"What brings you here tonight?" The blonde asked as he pulled out a pretentious-looking vaporizer and took a deep inhale.

 _Does he know me? Does he dream about me? No, that’s stupid. I must’ve subconsciously seen him one day, and he somehow ended up in my dreams. He doesn’t know me. He can’t._ “A pushy bitch of a friend.”

The man chuckles at that, that damn sexy low chuckle of his that reverberates through the air and invades Levi’s senses making him feel like his nerves have been set on fire.

"What about you?" Levi isn’t usually into small talk, but if he isn’t going to run away from this situation then there is no way he was letting this guy go with out at least getting to know something, anything that makes sense. He needed to know that his mental health hasn’t taken a turn for the worst.

"Celebrating the opening my newest business endeavor, my partners and I just started-up a community legal help center just out of Manhattan" the man spoke proudly of his accomplishment. _Just like how he used to look when he got each step closer to slaying the Titans._

"Hm. Your newest business? So you have _more_ than one?” Levi all of a sudden felt a pang of insecurity with his lifestyle coupled with all of these other crazy emotions that Levi was desperately pushing aside. He has never felt so many emotions running through him at the same time during his whole 24 years on Earth. He felt like his brain was about to short circuit at any second and he would just drop to the floor and then wake up in bed, knowing this was all just another dream or some sick psychological experiment.

"I’m an entrepreneur, I have started up a total of 9 businesses so far. Anyway, enough about me. I don’t believe I got your name, mine is Erwin" He offers his right hand to Levi for a handshake.

 _Erwin… You are still whole._ “I’m Levi” Levi fucking hates shaking hands, he usually doesn’t mind leaving people hanging, but he needed that touch, he needed to know this man, so he took his hand-

***

_Levi was on his knees in the mud, his hands were bound, and he was looking up at the Golden God who donned a deep green cape._

_"I’m Erwin Smith, what’s your name?"_

_"Levi."_

_***  
_

-“Levi, I got your drinks, you gonna introduce me or what?” Sarah knocked him back into reality as she slammed a tray with eight drinks on the table, he realized he was still holding hands with Erwin, they were both staring at each other with slightly shocked expressions.

Levi quickly retracted his hand and flicked his gaze over to Sarah who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. _Great. Now he definitely thinks that I’m fucking crazy. I just blacked out in to a daydream while shaking his goddamn hand, what the FUCK is wrong with me!_ “Erwin Smith, this is Sarah, Sarah, Erwin” Levi looked over to Erwin who was slightly furrowing his massive eyebrows before quickly smoothing his features back to passive.

"Sarah, it’s a pleasure to meet you" Erwin greeted her with a gentlemanly smile.

Sarah pulled up a chair right next to Erwin “Quite the charmer we have here, who even greets people like that in a bar?” Sarah mused, slightly tipping her black lips into a smirk.

Levi shot her a death glare, but that obviously wasn’t going to phase the brazen woman.

Erwin chuckled again “I don’t usually spend much of my spare time in these types of establishments, so I wouldn’t know” Erwin coolly replied.

Sarah smirked at that “So… You’re gay, right? I swear I saw you over there eye-fucking Levi” Sarah said quite casually for the suddenly inappropriate change in subject matter.

Erwin raised his eyebrows and smirked back “What if I said that I was?” Erwin said with a sexy low rumble underlying his tone.

"Which one? Gay, or eye-fucking?"

"Both"

Levi almost choked as he took his first sip of the new round of beverages.

"Oh shit! I like this one!" Sarah exclaimed while she chucked an arm around Erwin’s shoulders with a toothy grin, exaggeratedly wagging her drawn-on eyebrows at Levi.

As if on cue, Jake and Ben appeared at the foot of the table “Four drinks each… Really? I’m not driving you guys home if you’re gonna be puking all over my interior” Ben huffed at Levi and Sarah.

"Where in the fuck were you two?" Sarah shouted at the pair, sculling a drink instantly after.

"Grabbing some drinks and listening to the band, you know, normal people things, not going around physically harassing strangers like you." Jake spoke while glancing over to Erwin who was hunched under Sarah's arm.

Sarah freed Erwin from her overly friendly gesture, threw a scowl at her co-workers and continued to chug down another two glasses in a row before bothering with a reply.

"Psh! That’s rich, coming from the goddamn cue-ball twins. Seriously, fuck you guys… Wanna dance?" Without waiting for response, Sarah chugged her last glass and slammed it down on the table, she clumsily hooked herself in the arms of her two co-workers dragging them in the direction of the band, chucking yet another wink over her shoulder in Levi’s direction.

"Wow, she is a bit of a live-wire. Is that the pushy bitch of a friend you mentioned earlier?" Erwin was obviously amused by the events that had occurred so far, he took a long sip of his transparent brown drink.

Levi stared at Erwin’s mouth as he licked the condensation that the glass had placed along his lower lip, _oh shit he is hot…_ “Oh, ah, yeah that’s the one.” Levi snapped his eyes to Erwin’s when he noticed a slight smirk tilting his lips. “What?”

"Levi, I know we literally only just met and we have barely even spoken… But are you interested in joining me back at my apartment? Just you?… Only for some drinks and a chat, if you would like? There’s just something about you that makes me feel like I really want to get to know you, I apologize if this sounds laughable to you" there it was, one of those oh-so-rare looks of insecurity crossed Erwin’s features, he had only ever encountered it twice in his dreams so far, but never in such innocent context. And somehow, it was so fucking adorable and sexy at the same time.

Levi’s head was spinning, _did he just… did he ask me over to his place?!_ Levi pinched his arm under the table, _nope not dreaming._ He didn’t realize what he was doing until it was too late. “I…” At a loss for words and basic human mannerisms, Levi sculled two of his drinks in a row and instantly lunged himself on top of the small table with that no-fucks-given attitude he was notorious for, grabbing the back of Erwin’s neck with his right hand, and pulled Erwin’s face close until their foreheads were touching, tasting each others accelerated breaths on their tongues. Levi gave a nip at Erwin’s bottom lip, then slowly licked it, allowing the ball of his tongue piercing to gently roll over Erwin's lip, then he rolled his head forward to stop Erwin from reciprocating. _I am a tease after all._ “Yes. Let’s go” Levi used the small bit of seat between Erwin’s thighs as a step ladder to get down from the table, smirking suggestively as he did so.

While Erwin was leading him out, he quickly whipped out his phone to shoot a text over to Sarah.

 _I’m heading off, let the guys know_ \- Levi

As soon as he stepped outside, he got a reply.

 _8=========D~ Go get that a$$ rekt you little slut ;P_ \- Sarah

Levi smirked and looked up at Erwin “So where exactly are we going?”

Erwin smirked back at Levi and hailed a cab almost instantly “My new penthouse” Erwin said while holding the cab door open for Levi.

_Well this has taken an interesting turn…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are any mistakes or somethings sound a bit funny, I have had a lot of study to catch up on, so I ended up typing this all out in just over an hour with only one quick proof read. So don't hesitate to leave feedback pointing out any flaws and errors, I wont hesitate to rectify them.  
> So who is ready for some smut next? ;P
> 
> I am Pieatchu on Tumblr.


	3. Connection

As soon as Erwin gave the taxi driver his address, he turned to Levi, their thighs were touching and their hands were brushing together. Levi snaked his fingers up through the back of Erwin’s hair, Levi leaned in to finally kiss him, when Erwin suddenly pulled away.

"Ah, I want you to answer me something’s first" Erwin said.

Levi huffed in impatience “What?”

"How do you know my last name? When you introduced me to your _charming_ friend, you gave her my last name, but I distinctly remember not disclosing that information to you” Erwin looked slightly confused, and maybe even a little hopeful if Levi was reading his expression right.

_Fuck, nothing slips past this guy._ “If I don’t know someone’s last name I automatically say Smith… It’s just this thing that I do… So your last name _is_ Erwin Smith, wow, what a coincidence” Levi wanted to crawl into a dark hole, he knew that he was a terrible bullshit artist, but telling Erwin the truth would most definitely freak him out.

Erwin raised an eyebrow, obviously not buying Levi’s half-arsed attempt at an excuse, but didn’t seem to push the topic any further. “I am curious, what do you do for work?”

"Tattoos, do you always play 20 questions when you’re on your way for a fuck?" one side of Levi’s lips tilted up almost imperceptibly.

Erwin chuckled “I never implied that would happen, all I did was offer you a drink and company, then you jumped the table practically mounting me”

"Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it, _old man_ ”

Erwin let a shocked expression slip past his stoic facade for a split second before it was gone.

"What?"

"Nothing" Erwin said while letting a toothy grin spread across his face followed by a breathy chuckle as he turned his head to face the window.

” _What?_ " Levi narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

Erwin looked back to Levi with glistening half-lidded eyes and grasped the back of Levi’s head, letting his fingers gently rake through silky black locks, and lunged forward crashing their lips together with surprising ferocity, like he had been craving this just as much as Levi.

Before Levi knew what was happening, Erwin half-mounted him, pushing him back into the car seat while his mouth was being commandeered so eager and sweet by the Golden God of his dreams.

Levi heartily reciprocated Erwin’s passion, parting his lips and letting Erwin’s tongue explore his mouth, their tongues gently entwining together. Levi felt Erwin’s knee come up between his legs, nudging his crotch, Levi gently rolled his hips to gain some friction on his growing need. They kissed slow and deep with desire, letting Erwin’s tongue slowly flick over his tongue piercing causing shivers to run down his spine.

"OI! We’re here, that’s $21.60" the cab driver huffed toward the back seat holding out his hand.

Erwin handed the man a fifty and insisted he keep the change, it’s the least Erwin could do after getting hot and heavy on his back seat.

Levi scowled at the driver as he slid out of the cab and ducked his head under Erwin’s arm as he was lead inside the lobby to the elevator.

"Ok, so if the lobby is this fancy, I have the feeling that your place is going to be scornfully arrogant" Levi smirked as he glanced around the perfectly pompous lobby dressed in beige walls and marble flooring with a ridiculously haughty fountain in the centre of the back wall topped with an absurd chandelier.

Erwin chuckled; amused by the bluntness that was oh-so-Levi.

The elevator door opened, even the inside of the elevator was fancier than the entirety of Levi’s apartment. Erwin swiped his key card and as soon as the doors closed, Levi was pushed up against a wall, trapped by the broadness of Erwin’s body.

Erwin slid his left arm around Levi’s waist and tilted his chin up with his other hand, meeting their lips in a chaste kiss. Erwin gently stroked his fingers along Levi’s jaw as he probed deeper with his tongue, tasting tobacco and whiskey mixed with a taste that was distinctly Levi, it was so sweetly addictive.

The elevator buzzed when they reached the penthouse, Levi reluctantly parted from the kiss only to look past Erwin and almost drops his jaw on the floor as the doors opened.

Levi’s sight was instantly struck by a breathtaking view of the city through massive glass panes a few steps in front of the elevator that started at the floor and stretched to the roof many meters above. Levi stepped out of the elevator and was lead my Erwin down the entry hallway to a set of extravagant willow doors. Erwin looked over his shoulder and smiled at Levi before pushing open the doors.

Levi was expecting fancy and over the top, but not this. This was just crazy. The place looked like it was put together by a world-class artist, the black marble floor was so shiny that he could see his own reflection when he looked down, the walls were a lustful blood red with black velvet filigree patterns. The main room was a massive open space about 8 times bigger than the entirety of Levi’s little dingy apartment.

To the left hung a massive television that was definitely taller that Levi, it was boxed off with 3 incredibly long red couches, the middle of the room housed a few massive bookshelves that reached the roof completely packed with books, a few red and black Gothic-looking loveseats were sitting near the bookshelves. To the right was a 12 seat Gothic black dining table set, topped by a red crystal chandelier and a bar in the rear right corner behind the dining set, stocked with insane amounts of straight liquor lining the shelves to the roof.

"Would you like a tour?" Erwin asked.

"Holy motherfucking cocksucking son of a bitch, you are a rich bastard… Fuck" Levi said while slowly spinning around in awe of his surroundings.

"Was that a yes?" Erwin chuckled, highly amused by Levi’s reaction.

"There’s _more_?” Levi looked genuinely shocked at the revelation.

Erwin gave a hearty chuckle at that “Of course, you haven’t even seen my bedroom yet” Erwin said with a flirtatious smile. “I’ll grab us both a drink, then I’ll show you around” Levi tailed Erwin as he sauntered over to the bar.

"What would you like? Spirit, wine or beer?"

"Spirit, some sort of whiskey on the rocks"

Erwin looked thoughtful “I think I have the perfect choice” he walked over to the side of the bar and rolled out a ladder that was attached to a railing on the shelving, he climbed to the top shelf and pulled out a bottle, giving Levi the perfect view of his toned ass that was being tightly hugged by his black suit pants, “I’ve been meaning to try this for a while now” he grinned as he made his way back down the ladder and handed the bottle to Levi.

The bottle was tinted a deep royal blue and was shaped like a vintage perfume bottle with a crystal stopper “62 gun salute, scotch whiskey” Levi slowly read the label with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"That’s aged about 43 years I think, and worth quite a bit. I’ve been waiting to find someone else who enjoys whiskey to share it with" Erwin bent down behind the bar, rummaging around for a few seconds before emerging with 2 scotch glasses filled with ice.

Levi popped the stopper and took a deep inhale through the neck before nodding lightly in acceptance and pouring the expensive liquid into each glass and placing it back on the bar.

Erwin grinned widely and raised his glass “Here’s to a chance meeting”

Levi let a small grin slip into his expression and raised his glass “To a chance meeting” they tapped their glasses and gulped down all the gold liquid, both with a breathy chuckle.

The intoxicating liquid was so smooth and divine, the liquor was so blissful that Levi was sure this is what Chuck Norris would drink on a regular basis, he was also sure that he could use the worth of that one bottle to pay at least a month’s worth of rent and bills.

"How about that tour now?" Levi said with a sly grin.

Erwin topped off the scotch glasses to the brim and gestured toward Levi with a smile “Very well, follow me” he walked down to the end of the massive open room and opened a door on the back wall of the lounge area.

Levi walked in and instantly noticed the entire back wall was covered in mirrors. All types of workout equipment lay strategically throughout the room. “This is my gym, and over there-” Erwin gestured to a door at the right far end of the room “-is where my spa and sauna room is”.

Levi squeezed Erwin’s bicep, impressed with the amount of muscle “I see it’s not just for show, you actually use it as well” he smirked, trying to gauge the appearance of the rest of Erwin’s physique through his white button-up and suit pants. _I wonder if it’s like it is in my dreams_.

"Physical well-being is very important to me" Erwin flirtatiously stated while snaking a hand onto Levi’s side, making him feel slightly giddy.

Erwin guided Levi back out in to the massive room to a staircase nestled behind the massive bookshelves “There’s a whole other story to this place? Jesus fucking christ” Levi was not expecting this at all when he first accepted the invitation to go home with Erwin, his head was spinning trying to process everything from the night’s events.

"There are a few other rooms on the first floor, but nothing too interesting, just the laundry, storage, some spare rooms and the kitchen. I’ve saved the best for last though" Erwin grinned smugly as he begun to make his way up the stairs, with Levi tailing him closely from behind.

They reached the top of the stairs and Erwin led him through a glass door down a big hallway onto a massive balcony overlooking the city and bay. The sight was quite breathtaking, he could see the city light’s reflection on the water, he leaned over the railing and could see the busy streets still hustling below him like a colony of ants. He felt amazing, he was high enough to breathe in pure air, untainted by the city’s filth “How high up are we?” Levi asked as he sparked up a cigarette.

"Twenty two stories" Erwin said, taking a sip of his whiskey while turning to face Levi with one arm propped on the railing and a half-lidded smile "You know… You are quite beautiful, Levi" he said as he went to cup Levi’s jaw.

Levi coughed on his inhale while batting Erwin’s hand away and narrowing his eyes “Tch, there’s no need for that bullshit, you already know I’m good to fuck, there’s no need to lie and kiss my ass” Levi rolled his eyes and looked back out to the city.

"I don’t lie" Erwin stated authoritatively while looking straight at Levi, allowing no room for doubt.

The tops of Levi’s cheeks turned rosy, he wasn’t used to being called such things as ‘Beautiful’, he was used to his lovers saying that he was ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’, it felt weird being referred to with such sweet and sincere words. Levi’s heart picked up it’s pace, _always the damn gentleman_.

"You don’t lie? Ha! That’s rich, everybody lies." Levi couldn’t help the cynicism that always made its way into his daily conversations; needless to say, gracefully accepting comments is not his forte.

"I haven’t lied to you yet, and I intend to keep it that way." Erwin firmly stated, reminding Levi just how authentic and persuasive the man can be when he truly believes in something. Erwin brushed his fingertips over Levi’s cheek and looked him in the eye "I get this feeling about you, Levi, this feeling that I’ve never felt before. As soon as I saw your face, I knew there was something special about you, like I know everything about you, yet nothing at the same time…" Erwin paused for a moment, thoughtful, and then gave Levi a genuine smile in which Levi partly reciprocated.

"I have one more room that I would really like to show you, if you’ll follow me" Erwin spoke in a slightly lower, more seductive tone than usual, guiding Levi with a hand on the small of his back over to a door on the opposite end of the balcony.

Before Levi could begin to analyse what Erwin had just said, Erwin slid open the massive sliding door and pulled open the curtain to reveal the most extravagant bedroom Levi had ever seen, everything the eye could see was either red, black or gold. The walls were draped in red and gold silk curtains; the carpet was black and plush. There was a black four-post vintage frame bed that stood on an elevated platform in the middle of the room covered in red sheets with a gold filigree design. The posts were draped in more of the red and gold silk curtains that adorned the walls, framing off the bed beautifully.

Levi looked up and noticed another one of those red crystal chandeliers hanging over a red loveseat at the end of the bed. The roof was painted a deep red with gold flecks with gold floral architraves. The whole room screamed sex and desire, and Levi was falling in deep.

"You really have a mirror on the roof above your bed" Levi mused with a shit-eating grin "you perverted old bastard".

Erwin gave a deep chuckle at that “Ah, yes… My interior designer seemed to think it was a good idea for a bachelor such as myself, I am yet to use it for it’s intended purpose. I moved in only about a month ago and have been incredibly busy getting this new company off the ground-”

Levi pushed himself up against Erwin and ran his fingers along Erwin’s collar, pushing his lips as close to Erwin’s ear as his short stature could manage “So it’s been a while then? Hmm? I don’t suppose you wanted to try it out with me?” he whispered seductively, letting his fingers slowly brush down Erwin’s hard chest.

Erwin dipped his face down to meet his lips with Levi’s, expressing much more need and hunger than in the car and elevator. “I’d love nothing more” Erwin whispered into Levi’s parted lips, dipping his tongue back in, fighting with Levi’s for dominance.

Erwin dipped his hands over Levi’s ass, and gave a gentle squeeze, Levi let out a soft moan and linked his arms around those glorious neck muscles and hitched his legs up to wrap around Erwin’s waist while still engaging in a heated kiss. Erwin slipped his hands down the lower curve of Levi’s ass to hold him in place as he walked them over to the bed, with Levi hurriedly shimmying his jacket off and unceremoniously tossing it to the floor.

Erwin gently placed Levi splayed on his back in the silk sheets and ran his hands down his still-clothed body all the way to his boots, and pulled them off one at a time, cracking a smirk at the size of his feet “You’re so small”

"Fuck you! Giant asshole" Levi spat back.

"Hey, I wasn’t saying that it was a bad thing" Erwin gave a devious smirk as he lifted Levi’s right leg by the ankle and ran his broad palm soothingly down Levi’s calf beneath his jeans.

“Pervert” Levi said breathlessly as Erwin leaned over him between his legs, pinning his lithe body beneath a mountain of muscle, and lips catching in another heated display of passion.

Erwin nipped at the lip piercing that Levi adorned on the right side of his lower lip, eliciting a deep moan from Levi as Erwin gently sucked the same spot.

Levi rolled his hips up; rubbing clothed erections together with a soft moan. Erwin snaked his hand down Levi’s waist to the hem of his singlet, running his thumb’s over the dips of Levi’s toned torso and nipple piercings as his slid the singlet up and over Levi’s head, pausing their kiss for a brief moment.

“How many piercings do you have?” Erwin asked, obviously turned-on by the thought that there could be more hiding in Levi’s pants.

“Wouldn’t be as fun if I told you, why don’t you find out for yourself.” Levi mischievously stated while nimbly undoing the buttons on Erwin’s shirt, mouthing at the newly exposed broad chest as he did so. Erwin’s tanned skin tasted just as smooth and intoxicating as that pretentious bottle of whiskey. When he got all the buttons undone, he all but ripped the hanging shirt from Erwin’s body, earning him a predatory look from Erwin, like he was about to devour him.

Erwin brought his hand back down Levi’s torso to the band of his jeans, slipping a hand inside the band of his jeans and underwear, feeling Levi’s already throbbing length, forcing Levi to let out a soft moan. Erwin made his way back out of Levi’s pants to start undoing them-

-Then all of a sudden, Levi remembered the tattoo of Erwin’s face on his thigh - _Shit!_

Levi flipped himself around in Erwin’s grip so that he was lying face down in the bed, keeping his head down, he mumbled “I think I’d prefer it if you were behind me…”

Erwin sat back between Levi’s legs, he couldn’t see Erwin’s face, but was sure that it would hold an expression of confusion at the sudden change in Levi’s demeanour.

“If you insist” Erwin must have picked up on Levi’s self-consciousness, mistaking it for body image issues “You know, you truly are stunning to look at.” Erwin said earnestly.

“Whatever old man, just get on with it” Levi felt a spark of anxiety as he lowered his pants and underwear to mid-thigh, suddenly deciding not to pull them off any further, he propped himself up on his hands and knees and willed himself to look over his shoulder at Erwin, instantly noticing those deep blue eyes glistening with concern. Levi snapped his head back around to face the pillows, giving an answer to Erwin’s questioning gaze “I’m fine, just hurry up”

Levi felt Erwin’s large hands firmly massaging his cheeks before he slid his thumbs near Levi’s tight heat and spread him open. Levi could feel Erwin’s heated gaze boring into his most sensitive areas before he suddenly felt Erwin’s slick warm tongue brush up against his opening, Levi bucked his hips back on to Erwin’s face and let out a surprised yelp.

Erwin broke away briefly to point out an observation “Looks like I’ve found another” referring to Levi’s scrotum piercing. Levi could feel him smiling against his tight heat before he licked a trail from Levi’s balls back up to his hole, continuing to lap-up Levi’s ass and breaching the opening with his tongue slowly.

Levi let out a deep guttural moan “Fuck, _Erwin_ , you really are a fucking pervert” Levi said breathlessly between pants, which made Erwin only more determined, mouthing and licking at Levi’s hole with greater pace. Levi arched his back toward the bed and looked up at the mirror, he thought it might just have been the most erotic thing he had ever seen. Erwin’s eyes were truly predatory; worshipping Levi’s ass like it was some sort of deity, those swollen lips seductively pursing around his most private area. Levi felt a spark building up in his stomach, and started to moan more desperately and forced his gaze back to the sheets.

Erwin noticed, and pulled his mouth away eliciting a displeased grunt from Levi, and pressed two thick fingers into to Levi’s opening, quickly replacing the displeased grunt with a sharp moan.

“You taste as good as you look” Erwin said deeply, curling his fingers slightly inside Levi, searching for that pleasure switch.

“You’re truly an ani- _mal_ ” Erwin found the sweet spot while Levi was halfway through another snappy comeback, feeling a jolt of pleasure run up his spine causing him to press his face into the sheets and moan deeply.

“ _Fuuuuck_ ” Levi moaned loudly into the sheets as Erwin added another finger, spreading them slowly inside Levi’s passage.

“You’re so _tight… Levi_ ” Erwin moaned as he was slowly working Levi open enough to take his enormous cock.

Levi was feeling a massive build-up forming in his stomach from the overly arousing ministrations that Erwin was performing “ _Fuck, E-Erwin, hurry up-I’m ready_ ” Levi breathlessly moaned, desperately trying to contain his pleasure from boiling over.

Erwin let out a soft chuckle “If you say so…” Levi could hear Erwin lean back off the bed, removing his pants and rummaging around in a draw for a quick second before he heard the rip of a wrapper and a cap pop, then two slick fingers were penetrating him again, working the lube deep inside him “Ready” Erwin asked, deep and strained.

Levi looked back at Erwin, instantly noticing that perfect cock standing proudly at attention, and nodded lightly. _Fuck, even his cock is the same._

Levi felt the bed sink between his knees, then Erwin’s length gently nudged at his tight hole before the head slowly sank in, pulling pleasured moans from them both as Erwin slowly sank himself into Levi until their skin was flush together.

“ _Fuck, Levi,_ you’re so perfect” Erwin moaned deeply.

“J-Just move, _please_ ” Levi tried to sound commanding, but it ended up sounding like he was begging.

Erwin slowly started to piston his hips, reaching forward to grab Levi under his chin, tilting his head up toward the mirror as Erwin nipped and licked at the side of his throat. Levi could see the muscles in Erwin’s ass flexing and his back muscles rippling in the reflection of the mirror as he moved his hips.

“ _Hnng-ah_!” Levi loudly moaned when Erwin slightly shifted himself further forward, forcing his cock to hit Levi’s prostate with every thrust.

Erwin let go of Levi’s chin to reach down between his legs, gently thumbing Levi’s sensitive dripping cock. “ _Mmm_ , found another one” Erwin moaned in reference to Levi’s Prince Albert piercing.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Erwin, I’m s- _so close_ ” Levi struggled to speak after Erwin started stroking his overly sensitive cock. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he was completely undone.

Erwin slightly picked up his speed with his hands and hips “Come, Levi, _come for me_ ” Erwin said deep and rough, the words shooting right to Levi’s groin.

“ _Oh fu-uuck_ ” Levi felt all of his senses overload as he spilled his come all over the sheets beneath him, flexing his muscles around Erwin’s throbbing length, forcing Erwin along into the pleasurable bliss with him, riding out their orgasms together.

Erwin slowly extracted himself from Levi as the small man fumbled to pull his pants back up and falling boneless in to the bed below.

“You are so amazing” he heard Erwin say as he ran a hand through raven hair, just before the mixture of sleep deprivation and post-orgasm haze fogged his mind completely, not even the need to clean stopped him from passing out in to black as soon as he lifted his head to the pillow.

_It can all wait for now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever! Life has been hectic and I struggled to get this finished today, but it's almost 4000 words so that's gotta count for something lol.  
> I haven't proof read this yet, so I am also sorry for any mistakes. Also, my first attempt at smut... I hope it isn't too cheesy or anything, I honestly have no idea how my writing is perceived by others, but I just hope it isn't a complete let-down! The next chapter will start getting down to business.


	4. Breaking Point

The bloodshed was so thick that it coated the sky red, body parts were strewn everywhere. Screams of death, desperation and crushing bones constantly pierced his eardrums, while all he could smell was scarlet iron, searing flesh and perspiration.

 

He glanced around, so many people were dead and injured, but there was only one titan left, the last one in existence, and Levi was standing no more than 200 meters away from the behemoth. He was breathing heavily and losing control of his muscles as he started to lose the last of his energy. He had just smashed his own titan killing record; he lost count at 43 almost 2 hours ago now.

 

He could feel his vision starting to blur before he noticed _him_ , the Commander, galloping his white mare up to the titan, readying himself up on the saddle to engage his 3DM.

 

_No. He isn’t meant to be here._

 

Levi’s heart constricted in his chest. “No you stupid asshole, NO _!”_ He watched as Hanji shot out both of the beast’s eyes with canon fire, causing momentary blindness of the Beast.

 

Erwin sunk his anchors into the Beast’s neck, shooting a rush of adrenaline through Levi “NO! COMMANDER!”

 

Erwin swung himself wide around the Beast, clenching his blade in his only hand with fierce determination in his eyes.

 

Levi was running, fast, so fast, but not fast enough. He watched the Beast’s hand reflexively swung backward to grab Erwin, as if he could sense him there.

 

“NO!” Levi didn’t realise he was screaming, loud broken screams, his heart was thundering in his ears “COMMANDER!”

 

Levi shot off his anchors into the nape of the beast, Erwin was struggling in the beast’s grasp as he was moving closer to it’s mouth, the most inhuman surge of strength and speed Levi had ever felt coursed through his veins like fire. He lost sight of Erwin as he was able to skilfully dodge the Beast’s other hand and slice deep through the nape of the beast.

 

He rode the falling titan to the ground. _Fuck. We did it. We motherfucking did it, it’s fucking over_. “Commander?!” He didn’t see Erwin lying anywhere near the Beast’s decaying hand. He started frantically scanning his surroundings, looking for any signs of his golden-haired god “COMMANDER?”

 

Levi quickly jumped off the Beast’s decaying corpse and froze froze when he looked to the left. “No, _please no_ ” the words were barely a whisper.

 

He saw a severed head with bloodstained blonde hair, facing away from him.

 

 _No, no, no. I was quick enough. I was, I know I was. I made it in time._ Levi was chanting a mantra in his head as he was almost jogging over to the blonde severed head.

 

Levi grit his teeth as he kneeled in the dirt, gently turning the head to face him. Levi instantly noticed those clouded blue eyes stuck open in a display of pain and fear. Levi felt every single sense and feeling drain from his body for what felt like eternity as he sat there, staring at the lifeless eyes of his dead lover in utter disbelief, his vision darkening at the edges as his brain tried to comprehend the situation. He slowly broke from his reverie as he felt debilitating tremors wracking his entire body as his heart lodged itself in his throat, his entire body was violently shaking as he let out a pained wail “ _No,_ NO! I fucking _loved_ you, you _fucking_ bastard! You fucking did it! We _won_ … _why?_ **WHY!?** ”

 

He looked over to the Beast’s mouth, he could see Erwin’s decapitated body hanging from it’s slackened jaw; he was only a split-second too late. Levi was broken and screaming as he pounded the dry ground with his bloody fists, his vision blacked-out as he felt an irreparable crack rip it’s way through his thundering heart, his tears overwhelming him.

 

-

 

“COMMANDER! ERWIN!” Levi woke up screaming as he jolted upright in the bed with tears streaming down his face, breathing frantically. He suddenly realised this was not his bedroom.

 

He looked to the left and saw those big blue eyes staring back at him from the bed in shock. Levi felt so sick and insane, he thought it was possible to vomit, faint and have a nervous breakdown simultaneously in that very moment. He couldn’t get the image of that beautiful head lying severed on the ground and those gorgeous eyes set in that horrified expression, so lifeless, boring straight through him. But those deep blue eyes were here, and very alive, staring at him with a look of utter confusion.

 

Levi hurriedly wiped the wetness from his cheeks. They both sat there for a long moment staring wide-eyed at each other with questioning looks. _Did I seriously just scream that out loud?_ Erwin was the first to break the silence “D-did you… Did you just call me Commander?”

 

“I think- I need to go” Levi practically leaped out of bed grabbing his heaped tank top, boots and jacket off the ground in one fluid motion. Luckily for him, he still had his pants on, so he didn’t even bother dressing before he scurried toward the door while Erwin was still there sitting up in bed with his jaw agape and eyebrows furrowed, obviously struggling to form a sentence after being so rudely awoken by the guy he brought home for a fuck who had then passed out in his bed.

 

“Hey- WAIT!” He heard Erwin yell as he quickly moved past the doorway and down the stairs to the first floor. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ “W-wait! Levi!” He could hear Erwin shouting from his bedroom, obviously fumbling around for pants so he could chase after Levi, but Levi was too quick, and was already behind the closing doors of the elevator by the time Erwin made it to the top of the stairs.

 

Levi could feel his heart trying to escape out of his throat, he was feeling a strong mixture of emotions swelling inside him, the main ones being confusion, embarrassment, shock and fear - fear for his sanity after dreaming about the severed head of the guy he just fucked, this guy who has been surfacing in his dreams a long while before making a physical appearance in his actual life.

 

He has the same confident demeanour, the same angular face, the same controlled expressions, the same sun-bleached hair, the same taut muscly body, and the same gigantic cock.

 

The clock in the Elevator struck 5am as Levi was quickly dressing himself in the confines of the luxurious elevator. The elevator buzzed and opened its doors to the Lobby.

 

The rest was a blur to Levi, he somehow ended up home, probably by a Taxi, he didn’t know, he was so deep inside his own mind that he didn’t even realize he was walking until he stepped foot in the tiny living area of his apartment.

 

He started rapidly pacing around his apartment, he felt like he was losing control of himself, which drove him even further to insanity. Levi was a stubborn man, but he was also a smart man, even though he was a loner by nature, even he knew that right now he needed to talk to someone, anyone, just to take his mind off of things and have a break from his dark thoughts and snap him out of his frightening reverie of the severed head that printed itself in his memory.

 

He whipped out his phone and tried calling the only person that he was relatively close to. He tried calling Sarah, 3 times in a row, no answer. _Fuck!_ Levi assumed that she ended up passing out somewhere after drinking her own bodyweight in straight liquor; he probably wouldn’t hear from her until the afternoon.

 

He hated his mind, and he hated this world. It was like every force of nature was working against him, tearing him apart from the inside, piece by piece, while he is left there by himself, struggling to pull himself back together, just to have another piece torn from him.

 

He dropped to his knees with his head in his hands as his chest started to heave violently, releasing painful sobs from deep within. He had lost control. His own mind was torturing him; he felt his whole world crumble as he realised that he could not take another hit.

 

His whole life had been miserable. He was kicked out of his abusive family home at 14 and ended up being taken in by a moderately successful local rock band as a roadie, he moved in to the shitty loft that the guitarist and bassist rented. He agreed to be their roadie for food and a place to stay, but he didn’t realise what he had gotten himself into at the time.

 

Between the ages of 14-17, he drank almost every night and became addicted to ecstasy, sometimes binging on numerous other party drugs. The certain rock star lifestyle that the band pursued had been cliché yet destructive, and ended up dragging everyone associated down into the dirt. Even though he mostly enjoyed the company of men, he woke up next to a new naked body almost every night, male or female, apparently it didn’t seem to matter, and Levi couldn’t ever remember anyway as he was always finding his solace in various coloured pills and capsules.

 

The day the drummer died of an overdose, he knew that ride was over. He didn’t go to the funeral, and never saw any of the other band members since, he had no real connection with any of them anyway, and the drug use ensured that they were all just shells of their former beings in the end.

 

When he was 17 his drug dealer introduced him to the head tattooist of his cover business, saying that Levi was one of his ‘best’ customers, and he liked to take care of his ‘best’ customers when he thought there was danger of losing their business due to such things like unemployment. Levi got an apprenticeship and a place to stay straight away after drawing up a quick sketch of Edward Scissor hands. Much to his drug-dealer’s dismay, 2 weeks in to his apprenticeship he stopped doing any form of drugs, focusing all his effort into honing his skills. He discovered that he had an amazing natural talent for recreating realistic pictures of people and animals. He was soon taken advantage of by the studio, charging more for his work but paying him the same in commissions and constantly overbooking him.

 

Then the studio got caught laundering drug money, Levi surrendered important information to lessen his sentence as to not face jail time. The court took pity on him, and let him go with only 100 hours of community service, living in a shelter while he fulfilled his obligations.

 

He completed his community service he found himself living on the streets for the better half of that year, selling himself to questionable men just to be able to stay in a warm bed for the night. He hated himself, but he never once broke down, he was too strong and too stubborn, he had already lived through hell and he could do it again.

 

One night he was sleeping on a bench out the front of a tattoo studio when he met Sarah, she took pity on him as she walked up to his shivering sleeping form that she had ignored the past few mornings, and offered him to join her in the staff area of the studio for a coffee to which he reluctantly obliged.

 

They started talking, over coffee and biscuits. He ended up doing a few sketches after Sarah found out that he used to be a tattooist before he was a homeless mess. A whole pot of coffee later and he had a new job. Sarah may seem like a cold bitch most of the time, but there was something about Levi that sparked something deep within her, it was like they were kindred spirits.

 

Things had been mildly steady after that, if you don’t include struggling to pay the bills and having your electricity cut-off twice, but at least he had a roof over his head, and a friend.

 

The one thing he had always counted on was his sanity, and his ability to hold himself together when everything else around him was falling apart. But now, he felt like he was slipping, his sanity was becoming intangible which drove him further into distress, and he couldn’t control it.

 

His vision was blurring as he stood up, he started to violently tremble when he felt tears constantly rolling down his face.

 

He pulled out his phone, the words blurring together on the screen as he blinked furiously trying to focus, and sent a text to Sarah:

 

_To you, I am sorry most of all – Levi_

 

He stumbled his way into the bathroom and willed himself to look in the mirror. He was horrified by his own reflection. His eyes were red, glazed and wide framed by purple bags, his hair clumped at the front from his feverish sweating, all colour had drained from his face leaving him in semblance of a ghost.

 

_Enough. I’ve had enough._

 

Levi felt the remnants of his sanity evaporate as he reached into the cupboard and pulled out 3 bottles of pills, stumbling back out of the bathroom, he emptied all the contents of the bottles onto the coffee table, a mixture of heavy painkillers painted the surface in red, green and white.

 

_No more. I’m done._

 

Levi was finally broken. After 24 years, he finally snapped.

 

Cupping his palm below the table, he swept up a handful of pills, grabbed the water bottle that was sitting on the table, and shovelled them into his mouth, almost choking as he washed them down with water. He grabbed another handful and repeated the process.

 

His shoulders started heaving as heavy sobs wracked his body, forcing him to curl up on the floor, his eyes were burning and swollen from crying the most tears he has ever shed in his short, miserable life.

 

_Fuck you world._

 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that before he felt tired, so very tired, he couldn’t hold his eyes open any longer as he eventually succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY!  
> Not even I was expecting this chapter to end like that, it just kind of... happened? I really am sorry, Levi always tends to go though horrible shit no matter what life he is in, my poor baby :'(  
> More Erwin next chapter though ^.^  
> (P.s. I haven't proof read this chapter either, I had to get it up as soon as I finished before I pussied-out and changed it haha)


	5. Eyebrow vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to snknerdette2013 for beta-ing this chapter for me <3  
> *edit* Fixed a weird formatting error caused a paragraph to be listed.

He had just returned from Commanding his first expedition outside of the walls, he never felt so exhausted and anxious in his entire life, though he would never show his true feelings through his stoic façade. He would face his subordinates with the utmost composure and professionalism, and he would continue this ritual until he closed the door to his quarters at night.

The stress of urgent paperwork and death had been hanging from his head since he returned. He hunkered down in his quarters immediately after dinner, mindlessly signing letter after letter for the families of the deceased, unable to remove the dark thoughts that were running through his head with every flicker of the lonesome candle that sat upon his desk.

This is his life now. The responsibility of hundreds of soldiers, the responsibility to free humanity and the responsibility to hold himself together no matter how hard things get.

Without warning, someone suddenly tried to open his door, huffing when they realised it was locked, followed by a short burst of knocks.

“Open the damn door old man!” Levi yelled.

“Just a moment” he called out as he cracked and stretched his back over the wooden chair he had been plastered in for a few hours straight now.

He stood up and lazily made his way to the door and flicked the lock. Levi must have been waiting with a clutch on the handle as the door suddenly burst open almost stubbing Erwin’s big toe.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you since we got back, and I am meant to be your fucking captain now… What are you even doing in here?” Levi asked in a bitter tone as he slammed the door shut behind him, glaring at Erwin through narrowed eyes.

“I’m fulfilling my duties as commander, there is always a lot of paperwork that needs to be done straight after an expedition, you know this Levi” Erwin said with indifference.

“Tch, you don’t need to do it straight away, just wait until tomor-“

“-No. Levi, I need to do this now. I’d appreciate it if you could leave me to do my work in peace” Erwin exhaled loudly, allowing a brief moment of emotion to pass by his features, which did not go unnoticed judging by the deepening scowl that was being directed toward him.

“If this is what it is going to be like after every fucking expedition, then you can just take this captaincy and shove it up your goddamn ass!” Levi was visibly irritated, spinning on his heel out the door and slamming it behind him.

Erwin let out a heavy sigh and started rubbing circles in to his temples. _What is wrong with me? Why do I keep pushing people away?_

He started pacing his room, trying to pull his mind back together from what had been shattered into a million pieces back on the battlefield. After 30 minutes of pacing and staring at blank ivory paper, he decided that he needed to apologise to Levi for so rudely dismissing him and isolating himself after the expedition.

He made his way down the end of the hall to the Captain’s quarters. He took a deep breath and gave three light taps on the door “Captain, may I come in?”

“Whatever” He heard the deep voice behind the door mumble nonchalantly.

Erwin opened the door and stepped in to the room, he noticed that Levi was clad in only his pyjama pants and his recently showered hair was dripping on to a towel wrapped around his shoulders, making a point to avoid eye contact with his superior.

“Levi” the commander let his name roll apologetically from his tongue “I am-”-

“You’re sorry? You better be, fucking asshole.” Levi said, tossing a scowl in Erwin’s direction.

Erwin was used to his blatantly foul potty-mouth, he would usually punish soldiers for such insubordination, but he had long since gotten used to Levi and his fascination of colourful insults, he realised a while ago that it is a way for Levi to show that he actually cares without directly showing it.

“I am. I’m sorry, Levi. I know that your input and understanding of the situation is imperative to our success, I’m just…. I’m beyond stressed right now. This is all new to me” the Commander took a deep inhale, he wasn’t used to baring this side of himself to anyone.

Situations like these usually made him feel weak, but there was something about Levi that made the Commander’s inhibitions subside.

“I have a lot of responsibility hanging over my head, and I can’t lose this battle. And I am sorry for being so reclusive, especially with you. I appreciate that you are so blunt with me, Levi.”

“Huh… The great mastermind, Erwin fucking Smith, is stressed? Well, I never thought I would see the day.” Levi snorted in amusement, then suddenly took on a more serious manner, taking a single stride toward the Commander with an unwavering glint in his eyes.

“You know that I will help you out when you need it, there is no need for you to mope around like an old widowed geezer. It is all of us fighting this battle, not just you. You need to realise that.” Levi reciprocated Erwin’s openness, showing that he was in fact capable of vulnerability when it came to human emotion. Erwin gave Levi a genuine smile, taking a few steps closer.

“I know, and thank you. But I can manage, it is my duty after all, I’d prefer not to burden anyone else with my responsibilities” He suddenly felt the urge to caress Levi’s face, but instantly thought better of it.

Levi closed the gap between them, leaving just less than a foot of space between their bodies.

“Let us help you Erwin, let _me_ help you” Levi was letting his walls crash down so suddenly and openly, showing the most emotion on his features that Erwin had seen since his friends had died. It struck a chord deep within Erwin that he didn’t know existed.

“I can’t lose any more people in my life, Erwin, especially not because they are too much of a stubborn jackass to ask for help” Levi almost seemed as though he was stubbornly pleading now.

“I am _your_ captain, I am here to support your leadership, which means that your responsibilities are also mine, so just fucking accept my help!” Levi tried to train his expression, but Erwin could still see emotion pouring through his stare before Levi averted his eyesight down to the ground.

Erwin’s heart skipped a beat and the air that surrounded him tasted thick with un-bottled emotion; seeing and hearing just how much Levi cared about him shot a jolt of unwavering lust through his spine, making him feel the slightest bit giddy. Seeing him on the field made it seem as though Levi was purely powered by instinct and inhuman prowess without an inch of complacency or tenderness, but now, seeing him so raw and emotional, and knowing that it was for him, hit Erwin like a tidal wave.

This time when he got the urge to touch Levi, he didn’t stop himself; he cupped the small jaw with his large calloused hands and tilted Levi’s face up to meet his stare, he could see that Levi’s eyes were slightly glazed with unshed emotion which sent a pang of distress through Erwin as he realised just how much he had secluded himself recently to bring Levi to this point, but he also couldn’t regret it knowing that Levi might not have exposed himself so openly if he had not acted this way.

“You’re too good to me, Levi” Erwin spoke softly “I don’t know what I did to deserve a Captain like you, but I will be forever grateful as long as you are by my side.”

Levi’s eyes slightly widened at the change in the commander’s timbre, a tone that seemed to reciprocate Levi’s emotions.

Erwin noticed Levi staring at his lips half-lidded, and took that as his cue to close the remaining gap between their bodies.

“I am truly sorry for worrying you like this.”

He kept his voice soft as he started closing the distance between their lips, leaving enough chance for Levi to back out if he chose to, but no more than a moment later, Levi closed the gap himself, crashing their lips together in a desperate resolve of sexual tension and unspoken feelings.

There was no tenderness only desperation and release of a million unspoken words, as they eagerly tasted each other’s lust through the deepening kiss. Erwin had never been a spiritual man, but the strength of the connection between them was so electrifying that maybe this is what would make him a believer in the idea of soul mates. It was at that moment when Erwin realised he would never once regret meeting Levi, not now, and not for the rest of his life…

—-

Erwin awoke to rustling beside him in the bed, the man that was in his dreams was lying right next to him, seemingly disturbed by what looked to be a nightmare.

“Nnngh… nnnn… ah! COMMANDER ERWIN!” Erwin was shocked as Levi jolted awake with tears streaming down his cheeks screaming his name, preceded by the title Commander, that title that he bore in his dreams. _This…. can’t be._

Erwin just sat there in bed, stunned and confused, staring at Levi who was trying to control his laboured breathing while staring back at him with an almost petrified look on his face, like he had just seen a ghost.

Erwin watched Levi wipe the wetness from his cheeks as he fumbled in his mind for something to say.

“Did you… Did you just call me Commander?”

“I think- I need to go” Erwin sat there stunned tightly knitting his eyebrows together as he watched Levi leaped out of the bed and hurry toward the door.

“Hey- WAIT!” Erwin yelled as Levi quickly moved through his apartment toward the entrance.

Erwin jumped out of the bed and fumbled around for his underwear that was haphazardly strewn on the floor from the activities last night.

“W-wait! Levi!” Erwin shouted as he erratically danced around on his left foot, trying to push his other foot though the leg hole of his underwear while also managing to hop through the door of his bedroom. Levi was too quick for him; he stood at the top of the staircase and watched the elevator doors close.

Erwin’s brain was running a million miles an hour as he quickly tried to comprehend the situation fully.

Levi had just called him commander; there was no mistaking that. Erwin was struggling to comprehend the fact that they could share the same dreams that had plagued him his whole life. The dreams that only intensified after he had moved to Manhattan. He couldn’t help but to think that they were somehow spiritually connected, that maybe they had lived a life before the one they are in now, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible.

Erwin couldn’t wait until morning, he felt slightly unsettled about something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but he could sense in the subconscious of his mind that something was definitely not ok. He knew for a fact that his friend Marcus managed the majority of retail and residential apartment real estate in the cities surrounding Manhattan, if there was any chance of finding Levi, Marcus was it.

Erwin pulled out his phone and looked at the time, 5:01am, he was willing to deal with an angry Marcus if it meant that he could find Levi as soon as possible. He tried calling 3 times in a row before a drowsy voice came from the other end of the line.

“Erwin, what’s wrong? It’s 5am on a goddamn Saturday morning, so this better be good” Marcus did not sound the least bit pleased with the interruption of his slumber.

“I’m really sorry, but it’s urgent, I really need you to check your tenant records for a Levi, I need his address.”

“Erwin, you know I can’t just give you this type of info-“

“-Marcus, please, you know I wouldn’t ask you to do this at this time if it wasn’t important, please” Erwin pleaded over the phone, knowing that no one could give in to him when he showed this rare desperate side of himself.

“Geez, fine. You owe me big time, and make sure no one finds out about this.” Erwin heard Marcus exhale loudly as fingers clacking on a keyboard suddenly became audible over the line “What is his last name?”

“I think it is Ackerman, and thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah… Hmm, here we go, Levi Ackerman. He rents an apartment in Bedford-Stuyvesant” Erwin scrawled down the address as Marcus was reciting it. “I’m a little hesitant to ask, but why do you need this information?”

“It’s a long story, maybe I’ll tell you the next time we catch up, but I have got to go now. Seriously, thank you, you are a lifesaver.”

“Yeah, just don’t ever call me at this time again unless it’s to tell me I won the lottery, you ass” Marcus hung up instantly.

Erwin quickly got dressed and rushed his way down the building to his car and punched in the address to his GPS. He drove slightly more erratic than usual, using all of his mental capacity to focus on the road instead of running away in thought.

—

Erwin pulled up outside the hairdressing studio that Levi’s apartment was situated above. He took a deep breath and made his way up the stairs, he stood outside the door for a moment of preparation when he heard erratic thudding coming from just inside the door. He knocked on the door of the apartment, but the thudding didn’t stop, he knocked again, louder this time.

“Levi? Are you in there?”

He raised his voice so that it could be heard through the apartment door, but the thudding still didn’t stop, that’s when he heard someone spluttering.

“Levi? Are you ok?” He checked the handle, the door was unlocked “Levi, I’m coming in.”

Erwin opened the door and he felt his heart drop as he was struck with the sight of Levi convulsing on the floor of his living area surrounded by vomit and pills. Levi’s head was repeatedly smacking against the leg of the coffee table, which was covered in pills that cascaded to the ground with each hit.

“Shit! Fuck! Levi?!”

Erwin allowed harsh profanities flow from his mouth as he rushed over and pulled Levi into his arms, making sure to keep his head to the side.

“Levi! Can you hear me? Fuck- Levi?!” Levi continued to convulse in Erwin’s arms with his mouth foaming.

Erwin felt like his world came to a grinding halt and his chest constricted so tightly that he could barely breathe.

“Fuck!”

Erwin pulled out his phone with a trembling hand and dialed 911, his vision was becoming blurry with panic as he hauled Levi up from the ground and started running him towards the car when the operator answered.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

—

Erwin sat in the waiting room of the Emergency department with his head burrowed in his hands.

He had made it to the hospital in record time, speeding in his Bentley across the city with Levi in his backseat while he was being coached through the situation by 911 over the car phone. Luckily it was still early enough that there weren’t too many cars on the road for him to dodge. He was able to keep intense focus throughout the whole situation until he practically collapsed into a chair in the waiting room.

He had a million thoughts running through his brain, and he was struggling to focus on just one to try and make sense out of the whole situation. So much had happened in the last 12 hours it started to make his head spin.

He tried recounting the whole night over in his head from meeting this small surly man from his dreams, to fucking him, to hearing him call out the military title that Erwin had held only in his dreams, to convulsing on the floor due to an obviously intentional overdose.

Erwin was trying to piece it all together, and he kept coming to the same conclusion, a conclusion that he thought must be illogical, but is the only explanation that could even remotely make sense given the situation. That ‘dream-world’ was far too different from their world, but also oddly similar in ways that made Erwin’s skin crawl. _We had to have lived a life before this one, maybe on another planet, maybe even another universe. But we have lived, and we have met, this much is obvious; I cannot be so ignorant._

It was then that Erwin dreaded to think of the reason that pushed Levi to try and take his own life. Erwin knew he should have said something when he heard Levi call out ‘Commander.’ He should have let Levi know that he had those dreams as well, but Levi probably thought he was going insane; much like Erwin did before he heard Levi blurt out that title.

Erwin looked down at his hands and realised that they were drenched in tears, he had been so deep in thought that he hadn’t even noticed the silent tears falling from his eyes. He had only just met his soul mate in this life; he couldn’t lose him again, not when he knows he could have prevented it.

He only took slight solace in the fact that he may just have gotten there in time to help save him, he didn’t want to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t tried to find him so quickly, or even if he got there just a minute later. No, he had to stay positive.

“Mr Erwin Smith?” He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts as he heard a nurse calling for him from the other end of the waiting room.

“Yes” He stood up instantly, quickly making his way over to the nurse.

“Please come with me, Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again. I am. I just can't help myself, cliffhangers are my one true vice and I probably should have warned you all sooner.  
> Also, sorry it took so long to update, just letting you all know that I'm hoping for monthly updates from now on (please don't hurt me).  
> P.s. I feed on kudos and comments,


	6. Fathom

Erwin made his way down the pure white hallway. His footsteps were heavy as if full of lead; his leather loafers were clicking loudly against the shiny off-white linoleum mixing in with the sound of the deep thunderous heartbeat resonating through his body, flooding his eardrums and pounding firmly against his temples. He followed the nurse to a small doctor’s office at the very far end of the long corridor.

“Please take a seat sir, the doctor will be right with you.”

Erwin nodded solemnly to the nurse and took a seat in front of the large glass desk to await the doctor’s arrival. The nurse shut the door drowning out the incessant background noise of hurried footsteps and systematic beeping. He looked around the white walls taking interest in all the framed certificates that were mounted in staccato behind the large leather office chair. The name plaque on the desk read ‘Dr. Hanji Zoe,’ that name… it sounds very familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint where he knew it from, an odd occurrence for such a scrupulous man. He shook it from his mind to get back to what was important at that moment, Levi.

Why was he here? In a doctor’s office waiting for some type of explanation instead of being at Levi’s bedside, sure he wasn’t exactly of ‘close’ relation to the man, but due to the impression he gave all the ER staff when he entered the premises, practically commanding them to attend to the small limp man in his arms, he thought he might get more visitation leeway.

Instead he sat there staring at the psychiatric certificates that consumed the small, boxed walls when suddenly the office door was flung open with great force.  A lady with unruly auburn hair shuffled backwards into the room. She held the door open with her posterior to prevent the large stack of papers that filled her arms from being knocked to the ground by the automatically closing door.

She turned around and spotted Erwin sitting in the office and almost dropped her stack of papers. Her eyes widened surprisingly large, complimented by the magnification of her strong prescription glasses, the amount of enthusiasm in her expression caught Erwin off-guard.

“Heyyy! Erwin! How are you?- Oh wait, silly question! You know… since the state Levi is in… but it’s good to see you!”

Erwin blinked slowly; dumfounded. He knew this odd woman from somewhere, but he just couldn’t quite remember where from.

“Uh, yes- how is he?” Erwin tried desperately to keep his inner peril from showing through his tone, but failed on the last syllable.

“To be honest with you-” Hanji furrowed her eyebrows worryingly “-he isn’t doing so great. He is still currently unconscious; we finished flushing the drugs out of his system a while ago now. It’s too early to tell how much damage has been done. We have sent a few samples off for tests that should be back any moment now since I marked them as priority. The main reason I asked to meet you is because we looked through Levi’s records and noticed that he doesn’t currently have any health insurance. Now I know this is a really terrible situation to bring up such matters, but there are-“

“-I’ll pay for it. All of it. Just promise me one thing” Erwin set his fiery gaze on Hanji.

“Of course!” Hanji practically melted like ice under his searing scrutiny.

“Do everything you can. I don’t care how much it costs. If it can be done and it will help then you must do it,” Erwin practically commanded her leaving no room for reluctance or hesitation.

“You’re a great man, Erwin Smith. He is lucky to have met you in this life.”

“This…life?” Erwin was taken aback by the wording of her statement.

“Well I guess you haven’t gotten to that stage of remembering just yet, but its ok, I’m not offended!” Her grin widened impossibly large “You’ll remember soon enough,” she winked at him mischievously.

Before he could even begin to comprehend the implications of her words a quick succession of desperate knocks sounded on the office door.

“Come in!” Hanji exclaimed in singsong.

The source of the interruption quickly entered the room while hastily tucking his dirty blonde hair behind his ears.

“Dr. Zoe, patient Ackerman has just woken up. I thought I’d come tell you right away,” He turned to face Erwin with a concerning look “Hello Co- uh- I mean, hello sir. I’m sorry for your situation; our team is currently doing our best to help.”

Hanji stood up from her chair “Thank you Berner, we will be right there,” Moblit made a quick exit, obviously in a rush to get back to his duties.

“We can get back to business later, let’s go see Levi first” she gestured for Erwin to follow her.

***

His small body was tentatively hovering above his mother’s withered form watching her chest struggle to rise and fall as if in a vain attempt to preserve her life. Even at such a young age, Levi knew better than to give in to such futile hope as hope for him seemed to be abandoned before he was even conceived.

 “Levi…” His mother breathed barely louder than a whisper without opening her eyes. The first words she had spoken that day. Levi hastily took her cold bony palm into his.

“Mama, I’m here,” he soothingly rubbed her hand in between his in an attempt to share his warmth.

“You’re so good to me Levi, so good… my beautiful boy… I love you so much… but you know that don’t you?” Her speech was laboured with a wheeze accentuating each pause.

Levi nodded vigorously, curling his lips around his teeth and biting down to help stifle an onslaught of emotion.

“Good boy… make a life for yourself Levi… that’s all I ever wanted for you… to get out of here… to spread your wings… to… f-ly…”

Levi watched as his Mother’s eyes slowly faded into nothing and her chest suddenly stopped moving.

“Mama?” Levi’s voice broke into a sob as he clung to the skeletal corpse of his once beautiful Mother. He finally allowing his emotions to overcome him, he quietly wept for hours clutching onto her body as if it would bring him comfort and help ease his pain.

When he finally let go of her body it was so cold and stiff that Levi instantly felt sick at the feel and sight of her as his mind engrained every detail of her agony and rigamortis into his memory, never to be forgotten.

He slowly backed away with wide eyes and clenched teeth until he felt his body make contact with the cold wall behind him. He slowly slid his tiny body down the rough dry wall, uncaring as the jagged cracks scrapped his back.

Sitting with his back against the wall he pulled his knees up to his chest and waited for someone to inevitably come. They would find his dead Mother and throw him away into the streets like the trash he believed that he was. There was no room for a motherless child in a whorehouse after all.

***

“What did I say about hesitating?” Kenny sneered down at him in the middle of a filthy alleyway that branched off a moderately busy merchant street.

“…Don’t” Levi slightly cowered away looking down at his battered shoes expecting to feel pain shooting through his face at any second.

“Exactly!” Kenny stepped closer and gripped Levi’s small chin in a tight icy hold, yanking his face up so their eyes would meet.

“And what did you do, boy?” Kenny face contorted into something sadistic and frightening, exposing his canines in a disgusted snare.

“Hesitate,” Levi couldn’t help a quiet whimper escape his throat as he struggled to answer calmly.

He squeezed his eyes shut as Kenny drew his hand back readying his position for a backhand. Levi felt something inside him snap as Kenny was bringing his hand down. He gripped Kenny’s wrist just inches away from his face in a sudden surge of strength. Levi willed all of the strength inside of him to accumulate at once in a burst of energy. He let out an ear-piercing scream while kicking his legs off from the ground with such force that his foot met Kenny’s jaw with a sickening crack that echoed through the pavement of the alley.

Levi stood there panting as the fog of rage cleared from his head; he watched Kenny panting and hunched over on the ground in pain with a pooling puddle of blood on the pavement beneath his face. He suddenly felt a wave of fear wash over him causing a shiver to run up his spine, he was dreading the reaction that was bound to rise in Kenny at any moment.

“Heh…” Kenny straightened his back and lifted his gaze to Levi’s, exposing the most terrifying grin that reached his ears as he let out a bellowing laugh, as if the most recent event had amused him more than anything else

“Well, you’re definitely Kuchel’s son. Ya’ little runt… I think you broke my fuckin’ jaw!” he said slightly slurred with a chuckle.

Levi stood there staring wide-eyed disbelieving of the scene that was playing out before his eyes.

“Let’s get back; I need some fuckin’ whiskey for this shit. We can try pickpocketing again tomorrow,” Kenny said as he turned around and started making his way down the alley. Levi snapped his mind back to reality and rushed to catch up with him.

***

“How in the hell does this crap even work?” Farlan growled in irritation at the dozens of straps he had hanging from odd places on his body.

Levi finished tightening the last strap on his harness and looked over to Farlan allowing a small smirk to play on his face.

“You need to start from the top and work your way down. Don’t just try to put on the first strap you pick up, Idiot.”

After another 10 minutes of Farlan verbally and physically arguing with his harness. He finally fastened the last strap in place; much to Levi’s on looking frustration throughout the entire ordeal. They stood on the top of a tall clock tower, one of the tallest buildings in the underground.

“Are you sure this is safe? I mean- you did test the grappling hooks properly, right?” Farlan was shifting his weight from foot to foot, a tell-tale sign of his accumulating anxiety.

“They are fine. Trust me.” Levi stated with an air of finality as he adjusted the blade-less hilts in his grip, resting his fingers over the smooth triggers.

He looked over the edge of the building toward the ground and pointed at a stack of hay bales that were stacked at the base of the tower.

“If the equipment fails, aim there. But you will be fine. Trust me, trust yourself.”

“Couldn’t we at least practise on the ground first?”

“Most people either compromise or drop their greatest talents to start running toward what they perceive to be more reasonable success, somewhere in between they end up with a discontented settlement. Safety is stability, but it is not progression.”

As soon as he finished talking; he applied pressure to the triggers and with a click the grapples quickly jerked their way from his hips and attached to the building on the opposite side of the street. He adjusted the triggers so that the retraction of the cables combined with the gas propulsion swiftly guided him through the air and across the street on to another rooftop that was slightly lower. He hit the ground harder than he expected accommodating the impact with a roll.

After just one use he instantly learnt an immense amount of intangible information on how to better coordinate his fingers with the triggers and the angles of contortion his body must perform to aid the swift movements. He couldn’t help but let a smile slip past his stoic features for a long moment; he felt electric and renewed like he had finally found a place for himself in this world. He could finally fly. He took a deep breath in self-gratification and turned toward the building that Farlan was atop, still anxiously shifting between both feet. Levi nodded toward him encouraging him to follow.

Farlan nodded back and shot out his hooks into the building that Levi was standing on; jumping from the edge of the building in a wide swing as Levi did, but he was fast approaching his destination and he hadn’t expelled enough gas or retracted his grapples enough to make it over the ledge of the roof. He ended up smacking into the side of the building just below the ledge.

“Shit” Levi walked to the edge and peered over. He found Farlan firmly planted against the side of the wall. Levi reached out his hand to Farlan to help him up.

  
“First time unlucky,” he said.

Farlan took his hand and was quickly pulled over the ledge collapsing out of breath on the ground next to Levi.

“You’re such a dick,” Farlan started to quietly chuckle, which ended up turning into uncontrollable laughter as he gripped his sides in pain from both laughing and throwing himself against a brick wall.

Levi looked down at his hand that was still attached to Farlan’s. Their fingers were intertwined in a secure knot and he could feel Farlan’s grip slightly tighten with every jolt of laughter that escaped him. He looked back up to see the truly jovial expression plastered across the blonde’s face. Levi allowed a miniscule smile to play on his features masking the true amount of happiness that he felt. He thought to himself that he could get used to moments like this.

***

Levi had been celibate ever since joining the corps not necessarily due to choice there was just no opportunity or time for him to do so. This is why he thought that it was odd when he found himself on his back so suddenly after opening up to his new Commander. He mewled and panted beneath the godly built body as it fully encompassed his own sturdy small frame and fucked him deeply into his mattress.

He desperately rolled his hips back up in sync with the deep and forceful thrusts that were hitting him deep inside with every sharp snap of flesh pounding into flesh. It had been so long for Levi that it took a while for the initial pain of penetration to subside; it probably didn’t help that the Commander’s length and girth were so highly impressive even for his large stature, but he eagerly pushed through the pain and into the pleasurable bliss.

He could feel almost every ridge of the Commander’s cock firmly massaging and pulsating against the sweet spot deep inside him, making his lips part slightly wider and his brows knit even tighter. His choked-up high-pitched moans became increasingly hard for him to control, causing his eyes to well up.

“Shit… Levi… you look… and sound… so beau- tiful.”

The Commander managed to grit-out in between a set of especially accentuated circular thrusts that massaged Levi’s insides so thoroughly and sweetly that he felt like he could burst at any moment. The Commander snaked a hand over Levi’s mouth in an attempt to muffle his moans.

“But I can’t have- _ah_ … the whole barr- acks hearing your sweet sounds.”

Levi moaned even loader into Erwin’s palm at that remark with a glint of challenge in his eyes. He playfully bit down on the large palm that was covering his mouth, eliciting a deep husky groan from the man above him. Erwin used his other hand to stretch Levi’s left leg over his shoulder, causing the angle to accurately and consistently strike Levi’s prostate even more firmly. All of his limbs started wildly trembling and his mind went completely blank from pleasure.

The Commander dipped his head to replace the position of his hand, planting a cascade of passionate kisses into Levi’s moaning mouth, tasting the delicious wanton mewls that were slipping so easily from the depths of his euphoria. Levi felt Erwin slip a hand down his waist and to his dripping, neglected cock.  He started thumbing the head and slicking it with precome. He firmly gripped the aching cock in his hand and started pumping in time with his deep thrusts, making sure to pay particular attention to the head with a slight twist of his wrist while circling the pad of his thumb when he reached the slit. Levi’s cock was throbbing violently in Erwin’s grasp; he could tell that it wouldn’t take much more to take him over the edge and into a blissful euphoric haze.

Levi lost his composure completely, allowing powerful tremors to overcome his legs that were wrapped around the Commander’s hips as his fingers raked and mussed the Commander’s perfect hair in to a wild animalistic fashion that truly suited him at that particular moment.

Levi bit down into his bottom lip and lifted a hand to his face as he felt his orgasm building rapidly, attempting to stifle his moans and cover the embarrassment of his wanton facial expressions. Erwin gently slapped his hand away from his face and held his palm in front of Levis mouth.

“Bite down,” he commanded and Levi complied by firmly taking hold of the palm with his teeth.

“If I can’t hear all of you, at least allow me to see all of you,” the commander said as his thrusts became more erratic and desperate.

“Come for me, Levi,” the commander moaned in baritone.

It sent shivers down his spine while the corners of his vision faded to white and his hips started rutting against his own will as he felt his cock start pumping out his release all over his twitching stomach.

The Commander watched as Levi’s face contorted in pleasure before he allowed himself his release. Burying deep within Levi with a low grunt; he filled every inch Levi had to offer as his release overcome him in strong waves forcing him to bow his spine in pleasure and moan deeply until the pleasure pumping through his veins slowly subsided.

Erwin slowly slid himself out of Levi, watching creamy white rivulets run between strong pale thighs. He collapsed next to Levi on the bed and cupped Levi’s jaw, gently turning his head until they made eye contact.

Erwin allowed the most genuine emotion to play across his features as he said, “I think… I’m falling in love with you,” his voice full of adoration and gratification.

***

The rocky depths were approaching his vision rapidly.

The darkness was so sudden and shattering, blasting into visions of blood red cracks that engulfed his vision.

Bright lights.

He is reborn.

***

Steely grey eyes snapped open in an instant. His was overcome with an almost numb throbbing sensation that was pulsing throughout his entire body. It took several seconds for his eyes to adjust to the bright white surroundings, furiously blinking back the fog that was clouding his vision.

 _“Am I dead?”_ He wondered. The last thing he remembered was falling from a tall cliff and plummeting to the rocky Earth below. " _I must be dead_."

When his eyes finally adjusted he noticed that he wasn’t at the Survey Corps anymore. He was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to numerous beeping devices continuously droning next to him. Then the gravity of his current situation dawned on him, not only was he not dead and not at the Survey Corps, he wasn’t even in that world anymore

_“– I tried to overdose. I tried to kill myself… How am I still here?-”_

His limbs started violently trembling as he sat up and ripped out all of the tubes and wires that were attached to his pale skin in one clumsy motion, leaving a littered contrast of angry red marks along his skin, droplets of blood rising past the surface in some areas. The machines started beeping furiously at him, mocking his foolishness.

He used all of his strength to swivel his body so that his legs were dangling off the side of the small hospital bed. He deeply inhaled the sterile air and pushed off the bed on to his feet and his knees instantly buckled beneath his weight, sending him colliding to the ground in a rather ungraceful mess of limbs.

“Fuck!” his voice had a harsh raspy grogginess to it that surprised even him. He felt like absolute shit in every way imaginable.

The door to the hospital room burst open suddenly with a very worried looking ratty blonde-haired man rushing toward him.

“Mr Ackerman! You should not be getting out of bed in your condition!” he gushed in anxiety, quickly bending down to hook his arms under Levi’s shoulders and hoist him to the bed forcing a pained grunt from Levi.

“Please just stay in bed, at least until the doctor has observed you,” he pleaded. Levi tried getting a decent look at the nurse’s face, but he kept busying himself with the tubes and wires.

A small woman poked her head in the room “Is everything ok in here?”

“Yes, Mr Ackerman just woke up and tried getting out of bed, nothing major. Could you please hook him back up while I go get Dr Zoe?”

“No problem,” He female nurse sighed and took his place as he quickly exited the room.

“This might sting a little,” she stated as she prepared the IV for insertion.

“Tch,” Levi couldn’t care less about a little bit of pain right now; he doubt that he would barely even be able to feel it anyway.

He was trying to lie still while the nurse did her work; his limbs were still trembling and his aberrant heartbeat pounded against his ribs causing his chest to rise and fall in a jittery staccato. He was almost afraid to ask her anything about the situation. He was desperately trying to decide whether or not living in an extended state of obliviousness might be okay for a while.

“Calm down sir, it’s best not to stress yourself in your current condition,” she said with a hint of exasperation.

Levi narrowed his eyes at her, what she said and the way she said it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

 “Fuck You. Do you think I’m an idiot?” He hissed in venom.

He felt like he had every single right to be anxious and stressed. What with the million memories running overdrive in his mind right now, trying to figure out which memories belong to which life after almost destroying himself from the inside out. Instead of being given reassurance, an explanation or even courteous bedside manners, he was told to calm down.

“Excuse me sir, but you did just try to leave your bed. I’m only trying to help you, so calm down,” She huffed in annoyance.

“Calm down? Calm down!” Levi curled his features into an aggressive snarl “How in the fuck are you even a nurse! I don’t need your shit right now, there’s no way I’m going to calm the fuck down after what I have just been through! You have no fucking idea! So don’t you fucking stand there with that bitchy look on your face and tell me to calm down! IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY!”

Levi was heaving with anger and adrenaline, his previous emotions only further fuelling his rage; the heart monitor that had just been hooked up again was furiously beeping before he ripped it out again.

“I don’t need this! I don’t even want to be here!”

The commotion must have been audible from the corridor as more staff members rushed into the room to help.

“Please calm down sir!” one of the newcomers pleaded.

Levi let out a guttural growl and violently ripped himself from the hospital bed, he was instantly gripped by multiple pairs of hands trying to hold him back; he tried to shake the hands off, but his body was in such a weakened state that he the use of all his strength barely resulted in a struggle.

“We are going to have to sedate him!” An anxious voice called out from the fray.

“I’ll go get it!” Another voice called.

“Fuck off! Just let me go!” Levi growled at them, still trying to pry away the hands that were holding him down.

“Calm down sir!”

“STOP TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN!” He roared in defiance.

“LEVI!” Levi instantly snapped out of his anger-fuelled rage as soon as he heard that familiar deep commanding tone call out his name, as if entranced.

He looked over to the doorway and the first thing he noticed was a comforting mixture of cerulean and cobalt gazing down at him.

“E-Erwin?” It was voiced as a question, but he already knew the answer.

Erwin moved toward the side of the bed and gently reached out to clasp Levi’s hand in his, a genuine smile played on is lips crinkling the corners of his eyes.

“I’m here, Levi,” he lifted the small bony hand to his lips

“I thought… I thought you were going to die,” he kissed the back of his hand “But you’re here – you’re alive,” He laced their fingers together.

“You’re alive” Erwin repeated in disbelief.

Levi was looking up at him in awe and disbelief “You’re here? Why are you here?” confusion settled deep within his features.

Erwin’s smile grew wider “You’re my right-hand man, of course I’m here.”

Levi’s eyes almost bugged out of his head in bewilderment at Erwin’s words, every other soul in the room was completely forgotten to him in that moment.

“You… remember? You came looking for me?” Levi knitted his eyebrows tightly in hope that he was reading the situation properly.

Erwin bent down so his lips were close to Levi’s ears “My Captain” he whispered loud enough for only Levi to hear, a simple answer worth the weight of a million words. The mixture of a deep smooth baritone whisper, the knowing curve to his lips and the tickling puffs of warm breath on his earlobe set Levi’s nerves alight and his mind racing

“We can talk soon enough; I believe the Doctor needs to speak with you first.”

Most of the staff had left the room after Levi settled down, excluding the scraggly-looking Auburn haired lady with thick glasses that popped in to his view from the side of his bed.

“Good to see you awake!” she beamed.

Levi blinked at her a couple of times before recognition flooded through his memory “…Hanji?”

“You remember me!” She squealed in excitement. She turned toward the only other staff member left in the room with them “Berner, could you please hook him back up?”

Levi looked over to the dirty-blonde male nurse that started busying himself with the cords and tubes “Moblit?… What the fuck is going on?” his confusion spiralled out of control – “ _what life is this?”_

“Levi,” Hanji stated his name firmly “You remember the titans, don’t you?” she had a serious gleam in her eyes.

“Yes… I… I remember everything – I remember it all.”

All of a sudden Levi felt like all of the air had been sucked from his lungs, he struggled to imbibe the air back in as his chest tightened and an overwhelming feeling of dread coursed through his body in crippling waves of nausea.

“Levi. Levi, look at me,” Hanji bent down and placed a hand on his shoulder “That life is over now. There aren’t any titans anymore. We have been reborn, this is a new life.” She soothingly rubbed his shoulder as his breathing started to calm.

“So I’m not going crazy? What I experienced was… real?” Levi knitted his brows together tightly and narrowed his gaze toward her.

Her smile grew impossibly wide at his questions “No sweetheart, you are not going crazy. What you are remembering are experiences from your past life,” her expression suddenly turned thoughtful as she hesitantly started to speak “Is this the reason why you did what you did? Did you think these memories were your imagination?”

Levi sat there for a moment, trying to remember the pattern of thoughts that had led him to his current position.

“It was a big part of it, yes. Meeting Erwin, this guy who I thought was only from my dreams. It didn’t seem like he knew me… I couldn’t figure out what was happening…and then I had this dream about… him- I guess I just couldn’t comprehend what was happening,” he grit his teeth “I guess I thought I had lost my mind…Nothing made sense anymore.”

He bit down on his lip to stifle the dark memory. “But I think I’ll be okay, now that I have confirmation that it wasn’t just in my head and that my imagination didn’t just materialise a human being into existence.”

“You will have to work through the burden of carrying those former memories with you though; knowing about such a life leaves its mark on a person. You will find that you will either incorporate each personality from both lives and mould yourself into someone wise or you will let the memories break you down into submission. I know you Levi, I know you can work through this” she gazed down at him her smile turning from gentle to sanguine

“And you even have Erwin again,” she winked at them both causing two pairs of cheeks to slightly redden at the gesture.

“Shittyglasses” Levi mumbled while rolling his eyes “how long was I out for?”

“About 8 hours I think,” she said scratching her chin.

“So what happens now?” Erwin’s voice took command of the room once again.

Hanji gave him a weak smile “Well, like I told you in my office, it is too early to tell the exact extent of the damage. However, all drug overdoses have put extreme pressure on your internal organs, and typically lead to a shorter lifespan. Now, at a base level observation, I do not believe that you will require any immediate organ transplants, as you seem to have woken up relatively quickly with minimal signs of major organ damage. Just be aware that it may be a likely possibly upon further inspection. But for now, just try to get some more rest and recuperate. I’ll keep you updated on any changes as soon as I hear about them. If you need anything, I’ve assigned Moblit to be your nurse, so you can just boss him around” Moblit pursed his lips at that last statement.

Levi offered her a slight smirk “Okay… and thank you.”

Moblit finished up with checking the machines and followed Hanji out the door so that the only people left in the room were Levi and Erwin.

Levi fidgeted in his bed; twisting the bed sheet in his hands as tried to think of something to say.

“Erwin…I….”

“Levi, it’s okay,” Erwin gave Levi a soothing smile and gently cupped his small jaw in his large calloused hand “We can speak after you’ve had your rest. I will still be here waiting for you.”

“Always so considerate,” Levi muttered.

Another smile spread across Erwin’s lips as he leaned forward and kissed Levi’s forehead.

“I love you Levi. We will get through this,” he said softly “but you really need to get some rest. I will be here when you wake up.”

A blush peppered Levi’s cheeks and he mumbled something under his breath. Levi succumbed to Erwin’s words, allowing his body to slowly drift off into a peaceful rest. He felt calm as he slowly closed his eyes being watched over by Erwin’s comforting blue gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. 1300 words longer than the second longest chapter!  
> Sorry this chapter took so long, but it was quite a challenging one for me to write. I ended up getting a lot of help from snknerdette2013 with this chapter, she is amazzzzing! This chapter would not have come out half as good if it wasn't for her brilliant perception.  
> P.s. Comments and kudos are kinda cool... just saying ;)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, I know it may seem a little ambitious, but I have been so inspired by this ship that I had to start writing down this idea I had. Let's face it, a tattooed Levi and straight-laced Erwin sugar daddy is everyone's lifeblood. I'm Pieatchu on Tumblr BTW ^.^


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